Discipline Problems? Read on...

Credit to Steve Watson @ www.footy4kids.co/uk

How to deal with discipline 'problems'

During the years, I have received hundreds of emails from coaches asking me to help them restore order to undisciplined teams and there is no doubt that "misbehaving" is the biggest single concern for many youth soccer coaches.

The coaches who write to me complain about a range of problems: Players not showing them any respect, mud slinging, chatting during team talks and even players who would rather fight each other than play soccer.

While there are several control techniques that will help coaches with "difficult" players, they do not address the real cause of the coaches' frustration, which include:

1. False expectations

Many new youth soccer coaches walk onto the field expecting their players will turn up ready and eager to be taught how to play soccer.

These coaches spend a lot of time and effort planning their coaching sessions and they expect their players to reciprocate by hanging onto their every word and to do exactly what they are told. That is their perception of what coaching should be like.

It doesn't take long, however, for these eager new coaches to become disappointed and frustrated by their players' lack of attention and apparent refusal to engage with their carefully crafted plans.

But they have forgotten soccer is a child's game. It is "play time" for the players and they really don't want to be told what to do.

If the coach and the players are unable or unwilling to adjust their expectations there can only be one result: Frustration and anxiety for all concerned.

2. I want to be liked!

New and inexperienced youth soccer coaches who are worried they are not controlling their players also want to be liked but these two interests are seen as incompatible. 

"If I am friendly, I can't control them," and "I can control them but they won't like me." Thus many coaches think they have to choose between being friendly and not in control or tough disciplinarians who are disliked.

Unfortunately, both of these approaches have undesirable consequences.

Friendly coaches may feel that their players are taking advantage of them while tough coaches usually cause young players to feel resentful and make them want to fight back.

3. It's all my fault...

As my email inbox proves, some inexperienced coaches who have difficulty managing their players place the blame squarely on the players: "They just won't listen to me!"

Others, after several unsuccessful attempts to restore discipline, become increasingly frustrated, start to think that it's all their fault and that they will never become a good coach.

That's why many youth coaches decide that coaching children is too stressful and they pack it in.

So what's the answer?

As we have seen, discipline problems are often the result of the coach and the players having different expectations and needs.

It would be unreasonable to expect your players to adjust their expectations in line with yours so the answer is obvious: Realise that young players play soccer because they want to play, not listen to lectures or be regularly stopped from behaving in a child-like way.

Your job is to help them enjoy their play by teaching them skills, not trying to force them to conform to what you think soccer coaching should be look like. 

So relax and fun with your players!